Joke of the Week
Joke 1
Biology Revisited
- When you breath, you inspire. When you do not breath, you expire.
- Mushrooms always grow in damp places and so they look like umbrellas.
- Thesaurus is an ancient reptile with an excellent vocabulary.
- It has recently been discovered that research causes cancer in rats.
- Before giving a blood transfusion, find out if the blood is affirmative or negative.
- Genetics explain why you look like your father and if you don't why you should.
- Dew is formed on leaves when the sun shines down on them and makes them perspire.
- Sterility is hereditary: If your grandfather didn't have children and your father didn't have children, you won't have children too.
- Life is a sexually transmitted disease.
Joke 2
Two elderly couples were enjoying friendly conversation when one of the men asked the other, "Fred, how was the memory clinic you went to last month?""Outstanding," Fred replied. "They taught us all the latest psychological techiniques - visualization, association - it made a huge difference for me.""That's great! What was the name of the clinic?"
Fred went blank. He thought and thought, but couldn't remember. Then a smile broke across his face and he asked, "What do you call that red flower with the long stem and thorns?""You mean a rose?""Yes, that's it!" He turned to his wife. . ."Rose, what was the name of that clinic?"
Lame Joke 1
Doctor: "Did you take the patient's temperature?"
Nurse: "No. Is it missing?"
Lame Joke 2
We know a guy who was so dumb his teacher gave him two sticks and he became a drummer, but lost one and became a conductor.
Lame Joke 3
A psychiatrist was conducting a group therapy session with four young mothers and their small children. "You all have obsessions," he observed.
To the first mother he said, "You are obsessed with eating. You even named your daughter Candy."
He turned to the second mom. "Your obsession is money. Again, it manifests itself in your child's name, Penny."
He turned to the third mom. "Your obsession is alcohol and your child's name is Brandy."
At this point, the fourth mother got up, took her little boy by the hand and whispered, "Come on, Dick, let's go home."